Everton v Manchester United: Premier League – live

“‘What’s your favourite kind of cheese?’” was a stupid question asked of Steven Gerrard,” says Andrew Goudie. “‘Melted’, he replied.”

I’m surprised he didn’t stay longer in America.

In other news, I very much enjoyed this pluralisation from your James Milners of this world:

“You go back to the managers of Terry Venables, Sir Bobby Robson, Hüzerlers, Jürgen Klopps, Roberto di Zerbis, I feel blessed that I have been able to learn so much and play under these guys.”

So, where is the game?

Everton will look to counter and, I’m sure, have Thierno Barry run off Harry Maguire, with Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall looking to make Casemiro chase back. Meantime, Iliman Ndiaye will run at Diogo Dalot and attack the channel between him and Leny Yoro.

United, meanwhile, will look to stretch the pitch and test Everton’s part-time full-backs. IU’m sure Idrissa Gueye will be deputed to police Bruno Fernandes, so I’d not be surprised to see him pull wide with Casemiro and Kobbie Mainoo moving into the vacated space. And it’s also worth noting that Everton lack pace and feet in the middle of the defence, so I’d expect cut-backs, low crosses, and players running at Keane and Tarkowski, rather than high balls spammed into the box.

“You mention United’s lack of a left-winger right as I was silently giving thanks that we are spared another evening of the slack-jawed Garnacho spurning chance after gilt-edged chance before trudging off to text his hairdresser,” offers Duncan Edwards.

I don’t think anyone could argue that United haven’t upgraded on him, and from what we hear about his behaviour, it made sense for Ruben Amorim to get rid. But, at worst, he’s a good sub who wouldn’t have been sold were the manager keen on him as a bloke and funds not so desperately needed.

Email! “There in much consternation online amongst Evertonians regarding 1) the lack of Saturday 3pm kickoffs (only three this season) and 2) Nathan Patterson not being played at right-back. As for number one, many fans note the distinct lack of atmosphere for a Monday night game; this will be Everton’s third this season (in addition to three away). As for number two, while I think that James Garner is quite a useful player at any position, I’m not sure if I want a 6’5 Jarrad Branthwaite running up and down the wings the way that Jake O’Brien has been asked to. My guess is that Garner will play on Ndiaye’s side, but Ndiaye tends to switch sides unexpectedly, so who knows.

I also want to note that Everton are fourth in the league with 30 goals allowed in 26 games. If they stay tight at the back this evening I like their chances.”

My guess is that Branthwaite will be asked to lean on Amad, who is much, much stronger than he looks but still a little bloke; that feels feasible, but so does Branthwaite getting skipped past.

Otherwise, I can definitely see Everton getting something tonight, but if United play well, it’ll be difficult for them because United have so much attacking threat.

Finally, I know what you mean about Monday night matches, but I’d expect the ground to be jumping for this one – and, for what it’s worth, one of the best atmospheres I’ve ever experienced was one of them, I think on the basis that if you’re committing to go from Manchester to Southampton away, you’re extending the weekend and offering a fair bit of refreshment time on trains and buses.

I’m minded of Martin Buchan’s legendary response – later pilfered by Gordon Strachan – to a reporter he didn’t know putting a hand on his chest to stop him going to get a drink.

“A quick word, Martin?

“Velocity.”

And because he’d been so rude I added ‘fuck off’.”

“How important is a top goalkeeper if you want to win the league,” Dave Jones wonders of Edwin van der Sar, who can’t help but draw attention to the inherent ridiculousness of the question. “What do you think I’m going to say?” he replies. “That you don’t need one?”

More of this please.

I wonder if United’s lack of a left-winger encouraged Moyes to go for Jimmy Garner at right-back. Without an opponent holding width, he’s freer to invert into midfield; if I was Carrick, though I’m not mad about Matheus Cunha through the middle. I’d think about sticking Amad or Mbeumo on the left, to attack Garner on the outside.

I guess Carrick also likes Sesko off the bench, with good reason – two injury-time belters in the last two games have been helpful, but he was also good at Arsenal. Having ti handle that genre of physical specimen after an hour spent chasing about can’t be an especially pleasant activity.

Get on with it.

I wondered if Carrick would pick Benjamin Sesko for this one – now that you ask, I would’ve done. Against compact low blocks, a centre-forward is helpful in terms of a reference point, chaos-causing and knowing where the ball is likely to drop. But Carrick seems to prefer three all-purpose attackers able to pop up anywhere across the front line, to a bloke you know will almost always be between the width of the posts.

As for United, Lisandro Martínez has a calf strain and will miss a week or two; Michael Carrick might’ve been tempted to bring in Ayden Heaven, who’s a good passer and also left-footed, but Leny Yoro’s superb match-saving cameo at West Ham, last time out, earns him the shirt.

David Moyes makes three changes to the team that lost at home to Bournemouth: out goes the suspended Jake O’Brien, along with Vitaliy Mykolenko and Tyrique George, who drop to the bench; Michael Keane returns, along with Tim Iroegbunam and Harrison Armstrong. That means James Garner, formerly of United, and Jarrad Branthwaite will be at full-back.

Everton (4-3-3): Pickford; Garner, Tarkowski, Keane, Branthwaite; Gana, Iroegbunam, Dewsbury-Hall; Armstrong, Barry, Ndiaye. Subs: King, Patterson, McNeil, Beto, Mykolenko, George, Dibling, Coleman, Rohl.

Manchester United (4-2-3-1): Lammens; Dalot, Maguire, Yoro, Shaw; Casemiro, Mainoo; Amad, Fernandes, Cunha; Mbeumo. Subs: Bayindir, Heaven, Malacia, Mazraoui, Moorhouse, Fletcher, Ugarte, Sesko, Zirkzee.

Referee: Darren England (Doncaster)

Human existence demands an endless search for narrative – consider religion, psychotherapy and the arts – so of course football, its most uniting obsession, does likewise. Consequently, every game Michael Carrick’s Manchester United face is an episode in his quest to earn the permanent manager’s job, the most daunting and meaningful obstacle always the next one.

First, he was asked to beat good teams considered far superior to his own, and he did; then, he was asked to beat ones he was expected to, at home, and did that too; now, he’s being asked to beat difficult ones away, something United failed to do at West Ham.

Really, a proper team needs to be good at all three of these activities. But in this case, it is the third which will ultimately decide how things go: United have long found ways to use individual excellence to overcome the top sides and last summer finally bought well enough to win home games against lesser ones through sheer weight of talent; whether they can achieve positive results in awkward aways remains to be seen.

And Everton are certainly that. Though their home record isn’t great, they’re a decent side with decent players and won’t want to lose on United’s first visit to their new ground, its atmosphere intensified by the evening kick-off. As they seek to turn it into a home, full of shared memories, they’ll be looking to write stories of their own – so far, the best side they’ve beaten at the Sponsorship Stadium is Fulham. or, in other words, a win tonight would be pretty decent inciting incident.

Kick-off: 8pm GMT