Newcastle 4-1 Man United: Harvey Barnes scores twice in a second-half blitz as Magpies thrash Ruben Amorim’s side to go fourth

Not even the dropped Andre Onana has conceded four goals this season. And so, by discarding the frying pan, Ruben Amorim instead lit a fire between Manchester United’s goalposts.

Their Premier League campaign went up in smoke a long time ago, but this was a particularly charring afternoon, their worst defeat in the top flight and yet another contender for worst performance in a competitive field.

Things got too hot for Onana following his clumsy pre-match comments and just as clumsy mistakes during Thursday’s 2-2 draw in Lyon. But if he is the pantomime villain, his understudy arrived with face paint and a curly wig.

Altay Bayindir was making his first top-flight appearance and it could yet be his last. He gifted Newcastle their fourth goal with an errant kick and did not get close to the other three, even if he was left exposed by those in front of him. 

It was clear from the off that the Turk’s kicking did not instil any confidence in his team-mates, and when they’re low on belief to begin with, that is a recipe for disaster.

But as bad as the visitors were, Newcastle cooked up a performance to warm the heart of their manager Eddie Howe, hospitalised nearby after being admitted on Friday night.

Sandro Tonali had given the Magpies the lead with a well-struck volley in the first half

Alejandro Garnacho nutmegged Fabian Schar as he got Man United back on level terms 

The last time Howe missed a Newcastle game, because of Covid-19, it was his first. He wore a club tracksuit in his hotel room whilst directing affairs during a 3-3 draw with Brentford. This time, however, he was not well enough to contribute.

You would have thought he had given the team-talk by the manner in which his team started. ‘They want a fast game? Let’s f***ing give it to them,’ he told his players before a 2-0 win over the same opposition in 2023.  

Super-charged, no doubt, by the emotion of their manager’s absence, they began as if determined to send a get-well-soon cheer across the city as quickly as possible. Man United were flummoxed, which they can be in any minute of any game, and an offside flag denied Joelinton that early goal.

They had to wait until the 24th minute for that opener, but it was sort of goal fans would wait 24 hours to enjoy.

There was much debate as to whether Sandro Tonali meant his winner against Brentford last time out at St James’, a cross-shot from the touchline. He meant this one. Alexander Isak’s set-up deserved a goal – a cute lift in behind Leny Yoro – and Tonali did not disappoint. 

Howe says he often fears for his goalkeeper’s wrists in training, such is the power of the Italian’s strike. If only Bayindir’s wrists, palms or toes could have got anywhere near this volley, dispatched with equal venom and precision.

Man United then invited Tonali to shoot from 25 yards moments later, which felt like asking a piranha to look after your fingers. They escaped by a matter of inches when the effort shaved the post, but the hosts could smell blood in the water.

It was a surprise, then, when the visitors broke and equalised in the 37th minute, even if it was a fine goal. Diogo Dalot opened his legs and opened Newcastle’s defence with a reverse pass to Alejandro Garnacho, who held off the attention of two recovering jerseys to poke in via the base of the post.

Barnes ran riot in the second half and the visitors had no reply for his clincal finishing

Bruno Guimaraes made sure of the victory after Andre Onana’s replacement Altay Bayindir gave the ball away

Bayindir struggled as he stepped in to take some heat off Onana and was at fault for the fourth

Newcastle fans paid tribute to Eddie Howe, who missed the game due to being hospitalised

Jason Tindall stepped up to lead the team and claimed a win that sends them fourth in the table

Fans chanted United manager Ruben Amorim’s name even as his dismal side toiled 

But United sit 14th and are seven points off the top half after a 14th league defeat of the season

But Newcastle, under the care of Jason Tindall, did not afford them any such space after the break. The same could not be said of Man United.

Within four minutes of the restart the home lead was restored when Tino Livramento skipped by Dalot’s minimal resistance and crossed to the far post, where Jacob Murphy returned for Harvey Barnes to steal in. Where were Yoro and Victor Lindelof?

The centre-backs were still on the missing list when Barnes strode through for his second on 63 minutes, pouncing on a slip by Noussair Mazraoui before exploiting the gap in the defence and finding the top corner.

Bayindir then tried something he probably shouldn’t have, a clever chip into midfield. It wasn’t clever at all and Joelinton intercepted with a header that found Bruno Guimaraes and the captain finished from close range.

If Howe was watching, it would have lifted his spirts, especially as the win lifted his side to fourth in the table. Amorim, meanwhile, would have been the one left feeling sick.