Man City 5-0 Sparta Prague: Erling Haaland scores twice as Pep Guardiola’s men cruise to emphatic Champions League win

It is not even about the numbers anymore. The numbers have almost reached mundane levels of interest with Erling Haaland. Yep, he’ll score loads of goals. Everybody knows all of that.

It’s the way he steals your breath for the briefest of moments. That one second of unpreventable awe which transports you back to watching this sport as a child. A Haaland in full flight serves as a reminder as to why there is nothing quite like witnessing this sort of thing and why herculean strikers will always stir raw emotion like nobody else.

Defying the laws of physics again, the big fella. Limbs deserving of a trapeze. About 10 yards out, Haaland wasn’t facing the Sparta Prague goal. Savinho’s floaty cross appeared good enough to cause mild panic yet not really one to attack. Lay it off to somebody else. That was the sensible target man play.

He’s not overly sensible, this guy. After being thwarted from countless headers all night, Haaland instinctively fancied a volley. If that was the case, he ought to go with his right foot on the swivel. Even that felt audacious. 

Instead, he effectively backheeled a volley with his left into the corner. A backheeled volley, if any such move exists.

His first goal was a remarkable acrobatic flicked effort as he faced away from goal

Haaland’s second was a more conventional goal with his right foot

‘It’s not normal for a human being,’ Pep Guardiola said. The Etihad gasped as it pinged up on the big screen; Bernardo Silva scratched his head; Haaland shrugged, grinned, another day at the office. There cannot be many – if any – players in the world who would try that, let alone complete it. And it’s no fluke: he produced similar against Borussia Dortmund at the same end two years ago.

And that is what he does, the man who divides opinion of those who would rather pick holes than just enjoy the raw emotion that a herculean can provoke. Erling Haaland does things that Manchester City supporters will remember for decades to come and that will be his legacy here. And that is what you go to the match for.

‘Speechless,’ Matheus Nunes said. ‘If I tried to do that I’d pull my groin,’ Phil Foden added. ‘He’s a freak, isn’t he?’

Foden had appeared to be the main takeaway of this victory, one which saw City set a new Champions League record of going 26 unbeaten. He’d given them a three-minute lead and looked at his sharpest of the season, following up an encouraging cameo at Wolves three days earlier.

Illness had kept him out for weeks and, with energy levels still low, City have taken time to reintroduce him. A classic Foden effort, taking in Manuel Akanji’s pass, shifting out of his feet and flashing beyond Peter Vindahl. Precise, across the body.

It was the sort of finish this stadium came accustomed to last year, one in which Foden broke Premier League records for goal contributions as a midfielder and picked up the vaunted individual awards in yet another title win. His importance grew 10-fold in what now appears to be a carefully managed rise by his club. More nights like these and the few months of watching on will be forgotten.

Phil Foden opened the scoring with a fine finish into the bottom corner of the net

It was a welcome positive moment for Foden after a difficult start to the season

They need him against opposition like Sparta, really, and how City have occasionally struggled to break down those who sit back recently. Somebody so fleet-footed in tiny areas of space, with the Czech champions offering no room to work. That is actually when Foden finds his very best.

Haaland’s first came two minutes before the hour and they eventually eased past Sparta who, had they retreated any further, may have found themselves queuing at the hot meat counter at Asda over the road.

Guardiola says he enjoys the challenge of finding new ways of breaking down low blocks and it is a good job because if he didn’t, what would be the meaning of all this?

Rinse and repeat for City. As patient as possible against opposition standing on their goalkeeper’s toes, forcibly pushing at the locked door. Once it prises open, they then go looting. Nathan Ake saw a goal disallowed for handball on his first start of the season but more would follow.

Haaland helped himself to another, calmly passing into the net as City broke free. John Stones had headed a third on 64 minutes, meeting a Nunes cross for his second goal of the week, and the Portuguese joined in himself later on – winning a penalty and converting it with no problem.

John Stones scored a fine looping header – his third goal of the season – to put City 3-0 up

Matheus Nunes scored a late penalty to wrap up a comprehensive win for the hosts

Haaland departed, Guardiola saving his legs, so his Champions League record remained at 44 goals in 42 games as he went level with Didier Drogba’s career haul. The 24-year-old hasn’t scored in any of his last three league games – labelled a drought in some quarters – so you feel Russell Martin might be having a couple of restless nights before Southampton arrive here on Saturday.

‘The important thing is that he’s happy, smiling,’ Guardiola said. ‘I know it’s not easy for him. The defenders are all around him. There is literally no space. Every cross they are hugging him.’ Not tightly enough, clearly.